Missing Papa
The holidays can be a tough time for many people, especially those who have lost a loved one around
this time. Add in the pandemic and the current state of the country and it can easily start to go downhill
quickly. Papa gained his angel wings ten years ago to date. Although I am relieved that he is no longer
suffering or in pain, each year it just seems to get harder and harder. My initial defense against fighting
this feeling was to isolate and not celebrate the holidays. But then I realized that is not what he would
have wanted. Between the sun setting close to 5 pm each day and darkness setting in so early and the
hustle and bustle of getting gifts and decorations it can all be overwhelming.
I decided that each year I would try my best to address the emptiness and if you experience any type of
grief during the holidays, you should too.
Below I have included a list of ten suggestions to help you or someone you may know to cope during the
holidays. I have tried a few of these and they helped.
1. Realize feeling down is normal, but do not sulk for too long.
2. Surround yourself with friends and family that care. Nowadays is mostly a Zoom meeting,
phone call, or simple text to let the person know you are there for them to chat or maybe even
get a laugh.
3. Decorate. The first thing we did this year after putting away all those Thanksgiving dishes is put
up the Christmas tree. I knew this would brighten up the house and switch my focus a little.
4. Exercising always helps. There is something about releasing those endorphins that just shifts
your mood and gives you a quick pick me up. So, find what works for you and get moving.
5. Create. Get back to those things you have neglected. It’s the writing and blogging for me, but
maybe you stopped working on a sewing project, scrapbooking, baking, or whatever is fun for
you.
6. Help someone. The greatest internal reward is being there for others. I know it may seem like
you are having a hard time, but if you can find it with yourself to gift to someone or lend a
helping hand during this season. There is always someone somewhere in a worst situation.
7. Mindset is everything. I mentioned early on in this blog post that knowing Papa was no longer in
pain helps keep me sane during difficult times. I believe this similar thought process is what
keeps me going.
8. Rest. Aside from trying to keep busy. Remember to not get burnt out trying to keep busy.
These just leads to other problems like becoming irritable, cause weight gain, and weaken your
immune system. We sure cannot afford to do this right now.
9. Read. I recently joined a book club and I love it. I always felt my time was restricted between
work, eating right, working out, and school that I would not have time for anything else. But I
love the discussions we have, and I have learned so much from the books we’ve picked so far.
10. Treat yourself. Take some time for the small things. Self-care comes in many forms. Maybe try a
coffee break, some alone time to do a face mask, shower, and body scrub. Just treat yourself
and allow yourself to feel how you want to feel in the moment.
These days I am just taking things day by day and sure many of you can relate. I would love to hear your
thoughts on this topic so please feel free to share them below. Happy Holidays!!!!
Carla Says So